This is a complete transcript of the episode Avalanche!.
Transcript[]
(in the lab)
(Adam, Bree, and Chase walk in after a mission)
Bree: Mission accomplished.
Donald: Great job, guys. You saved that island from the biggest tropical storm in decades.
Adam: And, lucky for you, I brought home a whole bag of hairy fruit. (dumps the fruit on the console)
Bree: Yeah, just be happy I made him put the pelican back.
Donald: Guys, that mission was the finest use of bionics to date. I think we can all agree that strength plus speed equals success.
(Adam and Bree laugh and high-five)
Chase: Uh...excuse me. Let's not forget the mastermind behind this entire thing.
Adam: Oh, right. Let's give it up for our fearless leader... Mr. Davenport! Whoo!
Chase: What? No! I was talking about me! I supervised the whole mission.
Adam: Yeah, but I think we all know who did the heavy lifting. I'll give you a hint: Starts with an "A", ends with an "M". There's a big "da" in the middle. Okay, guys, it's me.
Chase: Please, the real work happened up here. (points to head)
Bree: Chase, no offense, but your bionic brain is no match for our hustle--
Adam: And muscle.
Donald: Ooh, that is a great team name! Hustle, Muscle and Ch...uscle. Mm. Don't worry, we'll find you an "ustle."
Chase: (sighs) I'm so tired of these two getting all of the attention because they have super speed and super strength. I never get any of the credit.
Donald: That is not true, Chase. They just have a lot of flash. But you're the glue that holds that flash together. You're...flash glue.
Chase: I'm "flash glue?"
Adam: Hey, I think I figured it out. (cracks fruit on his forehead to open it) Ahh...You're right, Chase. The real work does happen up here.
...
(in the lab)
Donald: Okay, guys, say hello to my latest invention, the Cyro-blaster! This thing can freeze anything in a nanosecond.
Leo: Bravo, Big D. You invented ice.
Donald: No, I invented a way for astronauts to travel to distant galaxies while frozen in suspended animation.
Leo: Which is a fancy way of saying "ice."
Donald: All right, here, let me demonstrate. You guys might want to step back because the ray from the Cyro-blaster freezes everything it touches.
(Donald freezes a cup with the Cyro-blaster)
Leo: Can someone please tell this dude he's making ice?
Donald: Look, every space program in the world is going to want one of these. I just need the element to fuel them, cytanium. And it's only found here. (shows them a map on the console) I'm sending you on a mission to the most remote part of Antarctica.
Bree: As opposed to bustling downtown Antarctica?
Chase: No worries, Mr. Davenport. We've been to way worse places than Antarctica.
Adam: Oh, yeah. Remember Bakersfield?
(everyone starts groaning)
Donald: Look, with your bionics, you should be able to swoop in and-- (warning alert) Oh, no. There's a massive storm headed there.
Chase: So, who cares? We just dealt with a storm.
Donald: No, this is a Category Five. It's much more dangerous. I can't believe this. I'm gonna have to call off the mission.
Chase: Wha-- No! There's plenty of time before the center of the storm hits.
Donald: It's just not worth the risk. I just hope the storm doesn't collapse the glacier.
Chase: But if that happens, you'll lose the cytanium forever.
Donald: I know.
(Donald leaves the lab)
Chase: But we can do this.
Bree: (scoffs) Stand down, Flash-Glue. You heard the man. No one is going, not even Hustle and Muscle.
Adam: Yeah. And Muscle could use some help.
(Adam is shown with the ice block hanging off his tongue, and Bree rips it off)
Adam: Aah! That hurt! Great, now I need some ice.
(Adam sticks the ice block back on his tongue)
Adam: Ah, that's so much better.
(everyone walks out of the lab except Chase)
...
(in the living room)
Tasha: Here you go: Two cups of hot chocolate for your play-date with Janelle.
Leo: Mom, it's not a play-date. It's a study session. I haven't had a play-date in five years. (Tasha looks at him) Three years.
Tasha: What are all these gadgets doing up here?
Leo: I can't just invite Janelle over here for geometry. I have to put on a show. Pull back the curtains on Leo Dooley, also known as L-Doo. ...I'm gonna have to change that.
Tasha: Leo, you know you're not supposed to touch Donald's things. And if Janelle doesn't appreciate you as you are, then she doesn't the L-Doo. ...Yeah, you're changing that.
(the doorbell rings)
Leo: She's here! Go! Go, get out! Exit. Get out!
Tasha: I'm going! (leaves the room)
(Leo opens the door to Janelle)
Leo: Hello, Janelle. What a surprise.
Janelle: You invited me over to study.
Leo: Yes, I did.
Janelle: Than it's not a surprise. (walks in)
Leo: Surprised you showed up. Sit down. Make yourself comfortable. I made us some hot chocolate. (hands her a cup) But why have normal hot chocolate when you can have the deliciousness of a frozen hot chocolate?
Janelle: Because I want regular hot chocolate?
Leo: (sing-songy) I don't think you do
Janelle: (getting up to leave) You know, if I run, I can probably still catch up with my mom's car.
Leo: No! Stay. I just wanted to show you one of my step-dad's cool new inventions.
Janelle: Leo, I told you. You don't have to impress me with that stuff. I'm here because I like hanging out with you.
Leo: You do? Of course you do. I'm L-Doo.
(Leo waves his arms with holding the cyro-blaster and accidentally freezes Janelle)
Leo: Aah! If I run, can I still catch your mom's car?
...
(in the lab)
Bree: Hey. Mr. Davenport, have you seen Chase? He's not answering his phone, and his mission suit and gear are gone.
Donald: What?
Adam: Yeah, I'm worried he was carried away by a small predatory bird.
Donald: Get him on the comm set now.
Bree: Got him.
Donald: Chase, where are you?
(in the artic)
Chase: I'm at the cytanium site.
Donald: What? I told you it was too dangerous. What are you doing?
Chase: I'm proving that even without super strength and super speed, I can still get the job done.
(an alarm beeps and a map shows a storm warning on the console)
Donald: You're about to be trapped by a major storm. Get out of there now!
Chase: It's okay, Mr. Davenport. I'm almost done. I just have to get the last of the samples.
Donald: No. Abort and seek shelter. That's an order. That storm--
(rumbling noise is heard over comm set)
Donald: What was that noise?
(an avalanche descends on Chase, he screams and the comm set is cut out)
Donald: Chase? Chase!
Bree: There was a major avalanche at Chase's coordinates.
Donald: He may still be alive, but we don't have much time.
Bree: Adam, let's go!
...
(in the living room)
(Leo is trying to melt frozen Janelle by breathing on the block of ice)
Leo: How about I push you into the sun? (struggles to push her and stops) How about I just leave you right here?
Tasha: (offscreen) Hey, how's the studying going, you two?
(Leo grabs a blanket off the couch)
Leo: Please work, please work, please work. (drapes blanket over the frozen block) Good enough.
(Tasha walks in and Leo stops covering frozen Janelle)
Leo: Hey...! Look at you. Lookin' good. Because you can.
Tasha: (noticing blanket covering the block) What's that? Where's Janelle?
Leo: Oh, um...we're building a fort. You're right, Mom. It is a play-date. Whee!
Tasha: Oh, okay. Well, I was gonna make myself a snack. Do you two want anything.
Leo: (hushed) How about a blowtorch?
Tasha: What?
Leo: Pizza! Pizza's good. You know, from that place...across town. The one that doesn't deliver.
Tasha: Oh, you mean the one with the--
Leo: That's the one. Here you go. Your keys, purse. All set up. (starts leading her to the door) Okay, bye.
Tasha: Okay, bye.
Leo: Enjoy yourself. Buy yourself something nice. Love you. Okay, bye. Get out. I mean, good-bye
Tasha: Okay, bye, honey.
(Tasha leaves and Leo closes the door behind her and sighs)
...
(in the artic)
(Chase is buried under a pile of snow, talking into a recorder)
Chase: Chase mission log, hour three. These could be my last recorded words. I'm still stuck under a mountain of snow. The air is getting thinner. I am cold. I am hungry. And these snow pants are giving me an extreme wedgie! (turns off recorder)
(digging is heard from above)
Chase: Yes! Adam! Bree! I knew you would come for me! I'm in here!
(Chase buries his face as snow falls into the tunnel, and becomes bright. He looks up to see Douglas peering in from above)
Chase: What are you doing here?
Douglas: Saving my son's life!
(scene changes to Adam and Bree searching for Chase in the artic)
Donald: (over comm set) Any sign of him?
Bree: Nothing!
Adam: I can't find the heat signature anywhere!
Bree: Well, how can he not be here? This was Chase's exact location.
Adam: There's only one explanation: He met a family of Eskimos who took him in as their pet because he is the exact same size as a penguin.
Bree: He's not here. Let's move south.
Donald: No, guys, that's it. There could be another avalanche any minute. I'm calling off the rescue.
Bree: What?!
Adam: No way! I'm not leaving without my brother!
Bree: (spots a blinking device in the snow) Wait! That's Chase's comm set. He was here. We have to keep looking!
Donald: Guys, I'm serious. Get out of there!
(rumbling noise is heard)
Adam: Hey, there's that sound again.
Bree: Avalanche! Move!
(Bree super speeds them away as the avalanche descends)
...
(in a tent in the artic)
Douglas: Would you like some soup? I went to cooking school in the 90s. It's Tuscan bean.
Chase: Is it poison?
Douglas: Yes. I flew 10,000 miles around the world in a massive storm and risked my life in an avalanche to rescue you...so I could then poison you.
(Chase takes the soup and drinks it)
Chase: Huh. Make a pretty good soup for a diabolical maniac.
Douglas: You should try my quiche.
Chase: Yeah. Maybe some other time. I'm leaving.
Douglas: Suit yourself, but you'll freeze to death before anyone else gets here.
Chase: I can survive in this suit. Mr. Davenport made it. It's built to withstand temperatures down to 45 below.
Douglas: It's 50 below.
Chase: That explains the frost bite. I'm not worried. They'll come for me.
Douglas: They already have.
Chase: What?
Douglas: Oh, the weather much have been too much or them. Looks like Adam and Bree are going home without you. (shows him tablet) Those are their G.P. S signals. That's how I found you.
Chase: You've been stalking us?
Douglas: You call it "stalking," I call it "lovingly lurking in the shadows."
...
(in the living room)
(Leo is trying to melt Janelle with a blow dryer when Tasha walks in)
Tasha: Leo!
Leo: Mom.
Tasha: Is that Janelle?
Leo: Yes.
Tasha: Is she completely frozen?
Leo: Yes.
Tasha: You froze her with one of Donald's gadgets that I specifically told you not to touch?!
Leo: You're on a roll, Mom. And now I have a question for you? What are we gonna do?!
Tasha: I don't know! I've never frozen anybody before! Give me that thing before you freeze somebody else!
Leo: No, Mom, don't!
(Leo tries to grab the Cryo-blaster and Tasha is accidentally frozen)
Leo: Aah! Okay, that is all on you, lady.
...
(in a tent in the artic)
Chase: So, what's on your agenda for the day? Build some bombs? Take over a tiny country? Steal money from old ladies?
Douglas: No! Well, not in that order. Oh, come on. I'm not that bad of a guy.
Chase: You trapped us in a dungeon and then tried to turn us into your bionic soldiers.
Douglas: Okay, okay. So I might've overreacted with that whole...abduction thing. I was never gonna hurt anybody. I just wanted to get back at Donald.
Chase: When are the two of you just gonna grow up!
Douglas: I'll grow up when he grows up! Look, Chase...You and I have a lot more in common than you think. I know what it's to be unappreciated, to have a sibling who always steals the spotlight. I know how hard it's been for you. And I can help.
Chase: For the last time, I don't need your help.
Douglas: What if I told you...that you could be stronger than Adam and faster than Bree? I can make it so you can have all three abilities: speed, strength, and intelligence.
Chase: How?
Douglas: You were the third one. By time I got you, I knew how to build in capacity for upgrades. But my brother took you away before I could finish. Join me, Chase. I can help you be all what you were meant to be. (picks up a plate) Deviled egg?
Chase: But if I go with you, that means I'm abandoning my family.
Douglas: The same family that mocks you and never gives you the credit you deserve? For anything?
Chase: What would I have to do?
Douglas: I just need to upgrade your bionic chip. (looks around) As you can see, I...no longer have access to state-of-the-art systems. So, we'll have to use Donald's cyberdesk.
Chase: Yeah, I guess I can sneak you into the lab. Mr. Davenport won't be there. It's Wednesday, which means...something's getting waxed.
Douglas: He is hairy. He gets that from our mom. It's perfect. We'll be in and out before anyone knows we're there. What do you say? (extends hand)
Chase: All right, Mr. Davenport. (shakes Douglas hand) I'm in.
Douglas: Super. (both of them start chuckling) If you want, you could call me Dad.
Chase: No, I'm good.
...
(in the living room)
Leo: (holding heat lamp to frozen Tasha) Melt, woman! Why won't you melt?!
(Janelle's phone rings and Leo answers it)
Leo: Hello? Oh, yes. Janelle's still here. Oh, you're coming to pick her up? Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, okay. See you soon. All right. Buh-bye.
(Leo hangs up the phone)
Leo: (drawn-out) WHY?!
...
(in the lab)
Douglas: (touches an electricity generator) Ow!
Chase: The download is almost finished.
Douglas: Three more minutes, and I can give you everything that Adam and Bree have, plus the capacity for more.
(the doors open and Adam, Bree, and Donald walk in. Douglas hides before they see him)
Donald: Don't give up, guys. There's still a chance we can find him. (sees Chase) Chase!
Bree: You're alive!
(Douglas appears from behind hiding place)
Adam: (gasps) It's Evil Uncle Daddy!
Donald: Back away from him, Chase.
Douglas: It's too late, Donald. He's with me now.
Bree: Chase, what is he talking about?
Douglas: It's true. I've finally taken back what was stolen from me!
(Leo runs into the lab)
Leo: All right, Big D. I know I'm not supposed to touch your stuff, but you know how sometimes things happen, and sometimes things happen when you really don't want to them happen and that just happens to be what just happened. Upstairs.
(Donald points at Douglas)
Leo: (sees Douglas) Ah!
Donald: Whatever you're up to, Douglas, you're not gonna get away with it.
(beeping from the console is heard)
Douglas: I just did. The download's finished! I now have the power to give Chase all three bionic abilities. And now no one will be able to stop us! (laughs)
Chase: Actually, they can. That USB drive you're holding is completely useless.
Douglas: What?! Well, then what just took an hour and a half to download?!
Chase: A list of everything Adam's ever eaten.
Adam: Not my Incredible Edibles!
Douglas: You double-crossed me!
Chase: Did you really think I would betray my own family?
Douglas: Well, it's always worked for me.
Chase: Even if you could offer me every ability there is, I would never go to your side. We're a team. And teams never quit on each other.
Douglas: (throws his hands up) All right! You got me! (chuckles) What do you say we just...put this all behind us and get down to the business of healing this family? Am I right? Bring it in, people. Let's hug it out!
(Adam spreads his arms and walks towards Douglas but Donald calls him back)
Douglas: Well, you know what they say...If you can't join 'em... (pulls out a gun and points at Donald, Adam and Bree)
Chase: Get down! (grabs the Cyro-blaster and freezes Douglas)
Leo: Wow! You froze him! Um...Now, how exactly would someone go about unfreezing someone? (holds up the device) 'Cause it is not the button located here, here, here, here or here.
Chase: Mr. Davenport, I'm really sorry. I know that I should've warned you about Douglas. I just knew that if I could get him back here, then we could trap him for good.
Donald: Good work, Chase. You make a great double agent.
Chase: Thank you. Oh, and I almost forgot. (pulls out cytanium from his pocket) Here's your cytanium.
Donald: Oh! Money, money, money, money, money! (stops dancing) I'm sorry. I mean, thank you.
(scene changes and Donald is dancing in front of frozen Douglas)
Bree: So, what are we gonna do with frozen Uncle Dougie?
Donald: I don't know-- We could probably ship him off to one of my offshore facilities. Or we could get some rock salt and make the evilest batch of ice cream ever!
Adam: Mmm..
Leo: Speaking of the "unfreeze" button...
Chase: We weren't speaking of the unfreeze button.
Leo: Well, we probably should.
(scene changes to the five of them standing in the living room with frozen Janelle and Tasha)
Bree: Yep. They're frozen.
Adam: Ooh, ice! Mmm.
(they stop him from licking it)
Leo: We have to fix this! Janelle's mom will be here any minute!
Adam: Okay, I'll just use my heat vision.
Chase: No, then Janelle would see you using your bionics.
Donald: Not while she's frozen in suspended animation.
Leo: You heard the man! Light 'em up! Oh, wait. On second thought, these ladies are gonna be really upset. I need a running start. (runs out the front door)
Donald: Wait! Me, too! (runs out the front door)
Adam: Step back, guys.
(Adam uses his heat vision to melt Tasha, then Janelle)
Janelle: What...happened?!
Tasha: Leo happened.