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Cyborg Shark Attack/Transcript

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This page is a transcript for Cyborg Shark Attack. Please add to the contents of this page, but only sentences and parts that pertain to the episode Cyborg Shark Attack.

This is a transcript of the episode Cyborg Shark Attack. It's still under construction.

Transcript

Adam: Man, that movie was awesome!

Chase: Yeah, Shark Beach definitely lived up to the hype. Though I couldn't hear most of it over Leo screaming. SHARK! AHHHHHH

Adam: No, Chase, that's not right, it was more like (high pitched mocking scream)

Leo: No, I was not that loud!

Chase: Dude, girls said that you were screaming like a girl.

Leo: Look, it's hard for me to talk about, but when I was younger I had a very traumatic experience with a shark.

Chase: You did?

Leo: It was the dead of summer. I was playing in the water when all of a sudden, everything turned red. And that's when I realized...

Adam: Realized what?

Leo: It bit me.

Chase: A great white?

Leo: No.

Adam: Hammerhead?

Leo: No.

Chase: Tiger?

Leo: No

Chase: Thresher?

Leo: No.

Chase: Bull shark?

Leo: OK, it was rubber.

Chase: Wait wait wait, You were bitten by a toy shark at the beach?

Leo: No...it was a bathtub. But, that water was choppy. And I was not the only victim. Mr. Froggy is still missing.

Adam: You know what else is missing?

Leo: What?

Adam: Your manhood. 

(theme song plays)

Leo: Hey, you still studying for our health class CPR exam tonight?

Janelle: Your place at seven?

Leo: I was talking to her, but you're welcome to come too.

Janelle: She's plastic and even her stomach's turning from that one.

Adam: Hey, Janelle, aren't you a bit old to be playing with dolls? Give it to Chase.

Chase: It's not a doll, it's a CPR dummy. Or in your case, another inanimate object that's smarter than you.

Janelle: Hey, Leo, maybe after we're done studying we can go see Shark Beach?

Leo: Yeah. Already saw it. Two thumbs down.

Janelle: Really? I loved it.

Leo: And eight fingers up!

Janelle: I love sharks, they fascinate me.

Leo: Me too!

Janelle: They're the most misunderstood creatures on the planet.

Leo: I know! So they eat people. Leave them alone!

Janelle: I tried to see the movie again last night but someone kept screaming the whole time.

Adam: Yeah, we were at the movies too, guess who the screamer was?

Leo: It was them! They screamed. They're the screamers. AHH LEO HELP! Tell us when the sharks are gone! You screamed. Screamers.

Chase: Leo, what are you doing?

Adam: Yeah, that's not cool.

Leo: You're right, it's rude to laugh in your faces. Let's go do it in the cafeteria!

NEXT SCENE

Bree: Tasha, I'm home! You ready to go?

Mr. Davenport: Hey, she got called away for work. But anything you were gonna do with her, you can do with me.

Bree: We were getting mani-pedis.

Mr. Davenport: Perfect. This mani is ready for his pedi!

Bree: On second thought, I'm good.

Mr. Davenprot: No, no no no. You and I are going to be spending some quality father-daughter time. So who are you totes crushing on? Is he adorbs?

(thumping noise)

Mr. Davenport: Why do you bother knocking if you're just gonna barge in?

Principal Perry: I wasn't knocking. I dislocated my shoulder body checking someone and I was cramming it back into place. Bingo! Love that meaty pop!

Bree: Can we get a heads-up next time you decide to cram something back into its socket?

Principal Perry: Anywho, the Mission Creek Country Club is accepting new members. And I need your help.

Bree: Why do you want to join a country club?

Principal Perry: Because. My summer's wide open. And I'm tired of all the wolf-whistles I get dipping my piglets into the public pool. I need to be ogled by fancy people.

Mr. Davenport: I'm sorry, after the word "piglets" I retreated into my safe place.

Principal Perry: Look, I have to be interviewed by a country club rep, and I hate interviews, they make me all nervous and sweaty.

Bree: Did you just come from an interview?

Mr. Davenport: So you want me to coach you on what to say?

Principal Perry: No, I need you to come with me. I told them you're my husband.

Mr. Davenport: You what?!

Principal Perry: When I get interviewed, I get nervous, and when I get nervous I start making up lies. I can't help it, it's a medical condition. See, I just did it right there.

Mr. Davenport: Look, I'm not pretending to be your husband.

Principal Perry: Hmmm. Guess I'm gonna have to call the cops on Donny Don and the Robot Bunch.

Mr. Davenport: Okay, fine, I'll do it. But this blackmailing thing is getting old.

Principal Perry: So's this marriage. Now shut your yap and get in the car.

NEXT SCENE

Chase: I can't believe Leo told everyone that we were the screamers at the movie. It's time for a little revenge.

Adam: I got it. Go to the aquarium...

Chase: No, Adam, we're not gonna throw Leo in the Shark Tank.

Adam: No, I was gonna throw you in the Shark Tank and make Leo rescue you.

Chase: Look. Mr. Davenport developed a school of Cyborg Sharks he used to guard his top secret underwater facility.

Adam: Why didn't he just use humans?

Chase: He's cheap. See, the sharks are designed to attack intruders. He still has a few prototypes in storage.

Adam: Mm. (he and Chase walk over to the shark) Whoa, he looks vicious. I'm gonna name him Carl.

Chase: We can use Mr. Davenport's hover technology to repurpose it for land. I'll control it with this tablet and then we can scare Leo in front of Janelle. Awesome, right? (pause) Why would you put your hand in there?

Adam: Because I didn't think my head would fit.

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