This is a complete transcript of the episode Mission Invisible.


Perry: A-ha! Cell phones are a violation.

Leo: I think you sticking your hand in my backpack is also a violation.

Perry: Planning on texting your girlfriend in class, were you?

Leo: I don't have a girlfriend.

Perry: Yeah, well, now you don't have a cell phone either. Bye-bye. Next!

Bree: You're not gonna want anything in here. It's just stuff that improves your hygiene and appearance.

Perry: Mocking my porcelain irish skin? Back of the line, princess!

( sighs )

( bag unzips )

( loud whoosh )

Perry: Where'd that breeze come from? Are you blowing on me?

. . .

( loud whoosh )

( screams )

Bree: Morning, boys.

Leo: Seriously, can we put a bell on her?

Chase: Yeah, you gotta chill on the super agility. Somebody's gonna see you using your bionics.

Bree: No one ever sees me. I mean, you didn't see me swipe your lunch money.

Chase: Oh, you're good!

Perry: Hey, you! How'd you get past my checkpoint? I sent you to the back of the line.

Bree: Uh... that wasn't me.

Chase: Must've been somebody else.

Adam: Yeah, somebody who can't climb ceilings. Saved it!

Perry: You three have an answer for everything, don't you?

Chase: I don't like to brag, but the answer to that is yes.

( clicks tongue )

Perry: There's one thing I pride myself on...

Bree: Your incredibly sturdy calves?

Perry: No! My instincts! And my instincts tell me that you three are trouble!

Adam: Well, I don't like your instincts at all, and you can tell 'em I said that.

Perry: I can't put my finger on it, but ever since you arrived, strange things have been happening around here. And the only strange thing I'll tolerate is the janitor. I have to, he's my cousin.

Leo: Who are they?

Perry: Air-conditioning repairmen. They're here to check on the strange winds that have been blowing around here for months. Uh...

Chase: She's talking about you! You're the mysterious wind!

Bree: The only mysterious wind around here comes from Adam.

Perry: Just so you know, tonight is parent/teacher night. Which means tomorrow is "you're grounded" day!

( laughs )

( sighs )

Perry: So, good luck!

( laughs )

Chase: What the heck is parent/teacher night?

Leo: It's when teachers tell your parents every bad thing you've done-- Forgetting homework, skipping class, staging a protest for better bathroom soap. Don't look at me like that. You're all benefitting from my rebellion.

Adam: If Perry tells Davenport about the strange things she's seen, he'll know we're using bionics in school and he'll pull us out for sure.

Chase: Well, then we can't give principal Perry any hard evidence. No one uses their bionics. That means no heat vision, no super strength, and no super speed.

Bree: Well, that's just crazy. I mean, what do you expect me to do, walk?

Leo: I myself plan to ace parent/teacher night by kissing up to all of my teachers. That way, my mom will let me go to the big concert I've been looking forward to-- The Riffraff Jammy Jam!

Chase: Ooh! I wanna go to the Riffraff Jammy Jam!

Leo: Not with moves like that. Watch this. Miss Watkins! Wow, that new haircut is workin'! I thought you were Angelina Jolie! That should be good for a C+.

. . .

Leo: Why, hello there! And how are my highly qualified and underpaid educational leaders doing today? Hey, I'm not in your class! Give me that apple back!

. . .

Adam: Oh! ( spits ) Ugh! This hotdog's not even hot! And don't get me started on the fact that it's not even a dog!

Chase: Hey! No heat vision! Principal Perry is watching us like a hawk!

Bree: I feel like I've been standing in lines all day! I just want pizza! Not being able to use my super speed whenever I want is killing me!

Leo: You think it's hard on you? My bag of cookie bits got stuck in the vending machine. I couldn't call for Adam to shake 'em free.

Adam: Oh, I love shaking your cookie bits!

Bree: That's it. I'm speeding to the front.

Leo: Control yourself, woman! Do something! Shut her off! Hey, are those new glasses? It's amazing what they're doing with bifocal fashion.

Perry: Don't try to butter me up! But if you must know... they're mother of pearl with an onyx trim.

Leo: That's great for you! I gotta go!

. . .

( whistling )

Donald: Whistling while you work?

( laughs )

Donald: Hi there!

( screams )

( chuckles )

Tasha: Where did you come from?

Donald: Just trying out my latest invention-- Invisibility cloak! Thank you. I'm amazing. I know. It's true.

Tasha: You look like a giant solar panel.

Donald: Well, I'll take that as a compliment. Very bright. Only one guy came close to making one of these things, and he disappeared.

Tasha: Very funny.

Donald: No, no, I'm serious. He got on a bus and nobody ever saw him again.

Tasha: Anyway, don't forget that tonight is parent/teacher night.

Donald: Oh. ( chuckles ) Good luck with that.

Tasha: No, Donald, you said that you wanted Adam, Bree and Chase to blend in, and part of blending in is having parents who show up at parent/teacher night.

Donald: But I--

Tasha: Uh-uh! No excuses just because you don't want to take responsibility for them.

Donald: I am happy to take responsibility for them. I engineered them for greatness! It's Leo you should be worried about.

Tasha: I will have you know that Leo has been an exemplary student this year.

Donald: ( laughs ) Who told you that?

Tasha: Leo.

. . .

Bree: Stop it! Put me down! I want pizza!

Adam: Well, you're not getting any! Ooh! But I can offer you this half-eaten ice-cold hotdog.

Chase: Wait a second. What's that noise?

Bree: I don't hear anything.

( creaking )

Chase: It's coming from that vent.

Bree: Leo, watch out!

( creaking )

( screams )

Leo: I'm walking toward the light! It's so peaceful!

Perry: What did you do to my school?!

Chase: We're okay. Thanks for asking.

Adam: It's not our fault. The air conditioner fell from the hole in the ceiling.

Perry: Well, if it crashed from that hole up there, what's it doing sitting unbroken right here?

Adam: Well, it's not because I caught it and put it there. Saved it!

Perry: You did this! You sabotaged my vents!

Bree: It wasn't us.

Chase: Sure wasn't.

Adam: Do I look like a "sabotusiter" to you?

Perry: You know what? It doesn't matter. I'll just see what happens when I watch the video footage.

Adam: Oh, good, she said it doesn't-- wait, the video "whatage"?

Perry: That's right. I had surveillance cameras installed, and I'm gonna find out exactly what happened. And when I do, you're all going down!

Leo: Perhaps a honeycrisp will change your mind. How many rows of teeth does this woman have?!

. . .

Adam: We have to stop principal Perry from watching that video, or she's gonna see all three of us using our bionics.

Chase: Whatever we do, we cannot panic. Everyone just stay calm.

Bree: We are calm.

Chase: Well, you shouldn't be! We're in crisis!

Adam: Guys, is it that big of a deal if she sees us using our bionics and tells Davenport? I mean, he already knows.

Chase: Wait! Guys, I know! Why don't we just use Davenport's invisibility cloak to sneak into Perry's office and grab the camera's hard drive!

Bree: Good idea! I'll race home and get it!

( loud whoosh )

Leo: Okay, so while she's gone...

( loud whoosh )

Leo: And she's back.

Chase: We better hurry. There's not much time until parent/teacher night starts. Davenport and Tasha will be here any minute. One of us has to get that hard drive.

Leo: Okay, well, you guys seem to have a handle on this. I'm gonna bounce. Good luck!

Adam: No, Leo, we need you! If we get caught, Davenport will pull us out of school!

Bree: Yeah, and he's not gonna pull you out. You're useless to him.

Leo: Fine. Let me have it.

( beeps )

Leo: Whoa! Hey, guys, check it out! Follow the bouncing Leo!

Adam: What an airhead!

. . .

Perry: A-ha! Now I'll finally be able to see what those little stink monkeys are up to!

( creaks )

Perry: Ugh! These drafts!

( wind blowing )

( door shuts )

Perry: Hmm. Oh, great! I spilled decaf all over my lucky slacks!

( whooshes )

Perry: ( screams ) Dooley!

Leo: ( screams ) You can see me?!

Perry: No, I was talking to myself.

Leo: Oh, cool. So let's just chalk this up to the fact that you're crazy.

Perry: Did you just call me crazy?

( screams )

. . .

Bree: What is taking Leo so long?

Donald: Taking Leo so long to do what?

Chase: Uh... to go out and get a job. Yeah, kid's gotta leave the nest some time, right?

Tasha: So, where is my stellar student? Leo. Where's Leo?

. . .

Perry: I don't know what you're up to, but I do know one thing, Dooley! Hello, welcome. If I ever find you in my office again, I will break every single-- Help yourself to the cheese and crackers.

Leo: Mom! ( laughs nervously )

Tasha: Hello.

Leo: Mom, this is principal Perry. Principal Perry, my extremely sympathetic and understanding mother.

Perry: I caught this troublemaker sneaking around in my office.

Donald: Ooh, troublemaker. Troublemaker?

Perry: Mm-hmm.

Donald: Troublemaker.

Perry: Yeah.

Tasha: Leo, what were you doing sneaking into this nice woman's office?

Leo: I wasn't sneaking into a nice woman's office, I was sneaking into her office.

Tasha: Leo!

Leo: I'm sorry. I can't tell you why.

( sighs )

Donald: This must be so difficult for you. You guys know anything about this?

Adam: Nothing.

Bree: Not a clue.

Chase: He's working alone.

Tasha: I am very disappointed in you, Leo, and you are not going to that concert.

Leo: What?!

Tasha: Mm-mm.

Leo: But I--

Tasha: No.

Leo: But they--

Tasha: No.

Leo: But fine.

Perry: What do you say we go into the gym and I show you that rope he can't climb?

( laughs )

. . .

Bree: Ah, yes!

Perry: Right this way.

Bree: No!

Perry: My office is right down this hall.

( loud whoosh )

Perry: Don't you wish kids had a return policy?

( both laugh )

Perry: Now let's talk about your other three.

Donald: They're great, aren't they?

Perry: No.

Leo: Do you know what's fascinating about this office? The floor. And I think everyone should look at it! Let's look at the floor!

Perry: Hey, eyes on the prize. Let's start with the tall one.

Tasha: Adam.

Perry: Yeah, or as I like to call him, empty box on a neck.

( laughs )

Leo: ( laughs nervously ) Almost dropped my gum.

Perry: Hey, no gum in school! Spit it out!

Leo: You couldn't have said that two seconds ago?

Perry: Where'd that come from?

Donald: That is, uh... mine. It's for windy days. You were saying?

Perry: Why tell you when I could show you? Ugh! Where is that hard drive?! Don't go anywhere, or else! I mean, please, make yourselves comfortable.

( laughs )

( loud whoosh )

Donald: What is going on?!

Bree: It's a long story.

Donald: Well, talk fast!

Bree: We were hanging out in the hallway when Chase was like, "What's that noise?" And I was like "Move," and Adam was like, "I got it." So then we used our bionics to save Leo from getting pancaked by an air conditioner. Bad news-- Cameras recorded everything and it's all on this hard drive.

Donald: ( chuckles ) Is that all?

Bree: And we used your invisibility cloak, so your top-secret million-dollar technology may be ruined, but yeah, that's pretty much it.

Donald: Give me the hard drive! We have to get rid of it!

( loud whoosh )

Perry: Hmm.

( laughs nervously )

Donald: Found it.

Perry: Oh, I could kiss you!

Donald: Please don't.

Perry: Fork it over.

Adam: Bree, what is taking so l-- Uh, I mean... Oops, this isn't the men's room!

Perry: Why would I be sitting in the men's room?

Chase: Because anything else would be unladylike. Bye!

Perry: Stop! Turn! Sit! Just one more connection...

Donald: Quick! Crush that hard drive!

Adam: But you told us never use bionics in school.

Donald: And yet here we are. So forget what I said and crush it!

Adam: Aw, that's so pretty! Is that something new you're trying?

Donald: Just crush it!

( loud whoosh )

Chase: Talk about getting caught up in your work.

( all laugh )

( screams )

Perry: One of you did this! You, you, you, or you!

Donald: I was standing here the whole time! I didn't see anything!

Perry: Ugh! This is not over!

Donald: Oh, I think it is. Air-conditioning units falling from out of nowhere, illegal backpack searches, recording students without consent-- Does the school board know about any of this?

( stammering )

Perry: Like I was saying, let's put this whole thing behind us!

Leo: Way to lawyer up, Big D.

( chuckles )

Tasha: Nice meeting you. Thank you for the cheese.

. . .

Donald: Well, that was fun. I happen to think that my first parent/teacher night was a huge success! Mainly because I will never be asked to go again. Point Davenport. Up top.

( chuckles )

Bree: So are we in trouble?

Donald: I'm gonna let this one slide... Because you guys did save Leo from being crushed by an air conditioner. And besides, it's not like you guys have ever used your bionics at school before, right?

Chase: Never.

Bree: Ever.

Adam: Sometimes. Saved it!

Donald: Where have you been?

Leo: Well, since I couldn't tell principal Perry the truth, I had to clean every bathroom in the school. I've scrubbed, I've scraped, I got a little nauseous, but luckily I was in the bathroom, so that worked out. Oh, by the way, here's your invisibility cloak. Sorry it's wet. I used it as a mop.

( sighs )

Adam: Leo, thanks for having our backs.

Chase: Yeah. It was cool of you to cover for us like that.

Leo: It all worked out. I didn't get flattened by an air conditioner, your bionics didn't get exposed, and I still get to go to the Riffraff Jammy Jam!

Bree: Cool, maybe we can all go.

Tasha: Whoo-hoo! We are going to the Riffraff Jammy Jam! Riffraff Jammy Jam! Riffraff!

Leo: Not with moves like that.

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