Fandom

Disney XD's Lab Rats Wiki

Rats on a Train/Transcript

< Rats on a Train

727pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Comments0 Share

This is a complete transcript of the episode Rats on a Train.

Transcript

Donald: Okay, guys. The next phase of your training is handling extreme climates. So we'll frost Chase, bake Bree, and submerge Adam. That's not part of the training, I just got one of those carnival dunk tanks and I can't wait to try it out. Okay, Chase, I'm setting your tube on "Antarctic." If it gets to be too much, just give me a sign.

Chase: Bring it!

( tube powering up )

Leo: Hey, that's not fair. I want to be abused by weather.

Bree: Leo, if you really want to be abused, try standing over here next to Adam's morning breath.

Adam: I don't have morning breath. It smells like that all day.

Donald: Leo, these guys are genetically engineered to handle these kind of climates. You're not.

Leo: I can handle extreme cold.

Donald: Leo, you get brain freeze from chewing mint gum.

( cell phone ringtones )

Donald: Davenport. What?! Well, that's terrible! I mean, that's awesome, but that's terrible! I- I gotta do something.

Adam: What's going on? What's so terrible?

Donald: I created the world's fastest train, but now it's speeding out of control full of highly explosive nuclonium towards downtown Welkerville!

Bree: Well, then what was awesome?

Donald: It's going like 400 miles an hour.

Leo: Ho ho ho ho!

Donald: My entire career is riding or perhaps crashing on this train! I don't understand it! My design was flawless!

Leo: So flawless you forgot to include an emergency brake?

Donald: No. I never counted on the conductor dropping his papaya smoothie all over the controls and then jumping off the train.

Adam: Well, if I were to build a high-speed train, the first thing I would have put in was a cup holder. Oh! And one of those bumper stickers on the back that says, "I brake for cows."

Donald: When stuff like this happens, they always blame the scientist. This is human error. Scientists don't make mistakes.

( tapping )

Donald: Chase. Now I have to explain the whole train story again.

Adam: Ohh.

. . .

Donald: The good news is, whenever I invent something, I always create a backup device to support it.

Chase: As opposed to just building it right the first time.

Donald: Ya know, I think I liked you better frozen. My auxiliary decelerator will stop anything-- Ocean liners, freight trains, tanks, eighteen-wheelers, twelve-wheelers--

Leo: Does it stop unnecessarily long explanations?

Donald: Apparently so. Only problem is, I can't figure out how to get it on the train.

Bree: You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Chase & Bree: Our first mission!

Adam: I want a pet pig!

Donald: No. No, no, no. You are not prepared for this kind of mission. It is a highly volatile situation. Down the line-- Fingers crossed-- There will be plenty of other horrible disasters.

Chase: Yeah, but... You need to stop this train now. And you need us to help you do it. Your career depends on it.

Bree: Please, Mr. Davenport. This is what you trained us for.

Donald: All right, you gotta leave the nest sometime. Okay, get in your capsules, guys. I can't believe I'm saying this-- (choking up) It's time to upgrade your mission suits.

Adam: I hope you addressed the chafing problem.

( powering up )

( whoosh )

Adam: Sweet! Ooh! I see you put in seat warmers.

Donald: All right... We'll be able to use these earpieces to communicate, and I'll monitor your progress on the train surveillance system. That way if you blow yourselves up in a fiery explosion I can watch it unfold in glorious HD. That came out wrong.

Chase: We get our first mission!

Bree: And we get to save lives!

Adam: Seriously, I want a pig!

Donald: Bree... Chase... Adam.

Adam: Hey!

Donald: Leo!

Leo: What am I supposed to use-- two cans and a string?

( footsteps approach )

Tasha: Well, your favorite news reporter just got their big break.

Chase: Linda Montieres?

Bree: Chip Spudner?

Adam: And Tom Constan with sports?

Tasha: No, me! I am done reporting on singing dogs and babies who look like ex-presidents. The network finally gave me a real assignment. I'm covering a runaway train!

Adam: No way! Ain't that a coinky-dink? Mr. Davenport--

Donald: Is, uh-- is, uh, so proud of you, honey.

Tasha: Will you watch Leo? I have a train to catch.

Donald: Absolutely. And don't forget, be balanced and fair, collect all the facts, and blame the conductor-- he's an idiot.

( door closes )

Leo: This stinks. Everybody gets to go on an adventure but me.

Donald: Leo, just because you can't go on the train doesn't mean we can't have fun here. I'll pop in the Gooby the Spunky Caboose DVD for you.

Leo: I'm fourteen.

Donald: Okay, then pop it in yourself. Come on, guys, we don't have a lot of time. We gotta get you in your gear.

( door opens, closes )

( contents shifting )

Leo: Ha! Look at that-- I'm travel-size!

. . .

Tasha: (breathless) Okay, Roger, how do I look? Am I in focus? Okay. We're on in three, two...

( news broadcast theme music )

Tasha: Tasha Davenport here outside the Glenview driving range where we're waiting for the the runaway bullet train to--

( whack )

Man: Fore!

( thud )

Tasha: Oh, my gosh! Roger! Is the camera okay?!

. . .

( train whistle blows )

Adam: Whoo-hoo! Oooh!

Chase: Adam, don't touch that! That's nuclonium.

Adam: That's exactly why I want to touch it. Ow!

Chase: Come on. We have to work fast.

Bree: Hold on! I'm updating my status. "Bree is... facing an uncertain future."

Adam: Hey, Chase. You spilled something on your new suit.

Chase: Huh?

Adam: Ho ho ho ho!

Chase: Oh, Adam, it looks like you spilled something on your new suit, too.

Adam: What? I just got this thing. Hey, quit flicking me. I'm trying to find the stain.

Donald: Focus. We only got fifteen minutes before this thing hits the turn, flies off the tracks, and blows up Welkerville.

Adam: Boy, I'm glad I don't live there.

Donald: Chase, locate the onboard braking system. Bree, inspect the tanks for leaks, and Adam, get a picture of the speedometer for my web page. Wow!

Chase: Hey, Adam. Hand me the decelerator.

Adam: Uh-oh. I don't know where I left our mission bag.

Leo: It's on the rope.

Adam: Oh, thanks, bag!

Leo: Uhh!

All: Leo?

Donald: Leo?!

Leo: Which way is the dining car? I'd like to get a bite to eat before I save the town of Welkerville!

. . .

Tasha: Okay, roll. Roll!

( theme plays )

Tasha: I'm Tasha Davenport reporting live. Authorities tell me the bullet freight train will roar past behind me at any moment, and you are here for the exclusive look.

( crossing bell ringing )

( train whistle blowing )

Tasha: Roger? I-- I think the train is on the other track. Behind you. Quick! Turn the camera around, we're missing it!

( horn blowing )

Tasha: Ahh!

( sputtering )

Tasha: Ohh--

( spitting )

Tasha: Bug mouth.

. . .

Bree: Leo, what are you doing here?!

Leo: Joining the mission. I want to be like you guys!

Adam: But Leo, you're not like us. And I don't mean that in a bad way, we just have really cool, super-fun features, and you don't.

Chase: Uh, Leo, where's the decelerator we need to stop this train?

Leo: You mean the pointy metal thing that was poking me in the butt?

Donald: It's right here!!!

. . .

Donald: Leo, I am supposed to be watching you!

Leo: And you are-- in glorious HD!

Chase: Leo, without the decelerator, we can't stop the train.

Bree: Mr. Davenport, what are we gonna do?

Donald: I'm coming to get Leo. If he blows up on that train, I'm gonna have to get Tasha a puppy! I'll bring the decelerator in my high-speed helicopter. Wow! How many guys can say that they have to chase their high-speed train in their high-speed helicopter? I'm awesome! Okay, I'll be right there.

Chase: Okay, so I downloaded the train's route before we left the house. Let me pull it up so I can calculate how much time we have left. Oh, no! Guys! There's only a two percent chance that we can save the train! And if the train goes, we go! Brace yourselves! Bionic people do not explode well.

Bree: Chase, relax. I mean, there's a possibility we can survive the crash.

Adam: Oh. Leo won't.

Bree: Oh. Right. Never mind.

Chase: I'm sorry you guys have to see me like this. I know you think of me as your ultra-competent, unwavering, fearless leader.

Adam: Not really.

Bree: Yeah, just the opposite, actually. Chase, look, everything is gonna be fine.

Leo: Yeah! I mean, Big D's on his way in his high-speed helicopter.

Chase: But... What if we can't attach the device? What if the sudden stop causes the train to tip? What if Mr. Davenport gets caught in a traffic jam?!

Bree: In a helicopter?

Chase: There could be birds.

Adam: That drive cars? I don't think so.

Leo: Chase, you're overthinking this. The answer is simple-- If Sally's on a train traveling at a certain speed, X, she's gonna reach the curve at a certain time, Y. All we need to do is multiply X by Y to find out if we have enough track to stop.

Chase: Okay... But what if Sally is sitting on enough nuclonium to reduce an entire city to a stain?

Leo: Then Sally should've taken the bus.

. . .

Tasha: I'm Tasha Davenport reporting live from the danger zone just outside Welkerville where-- where minutes from now the-- the- the train is expected to-- to-- um...

( train whistle blowing )

Tasha: We-- we-- we-- we got here too late? We missed it again? Are you kidding me?! Um, um, well, uh, for those of you tuning in, it was silver and-- and shiny and-- and-- and-- and it looked, um... it looked like... like this. And-- and-- and it was going really fast. It was just-- click-clack, click-clack, chooga-chooga-chooga-chooga-chooga--choog-- choo! Choooo! Uh, authorities are doing all that they can to stop the train before it... Boom! Boooom!!!!

. . .

Leo: Oh, I know! In the movie Sparkman and the Train From Tomorrow, Sparkman hops in front of the train and stops it with his pinkie. Just do that!

Adam: Leo, I don't have that ability.

Leo: Well, then you need an upgrade.

( horn honks )

Chase: Guys! Mr. Davenport's here! He's really here! I told you we'd be fine.

Adam: No, you didn't.

Leo: I don't remember that.

Bree: Yeah, just the opposite, actually.

Donald: Okay, I'm gonna drop the decelerator now. Make sure you catch it, it's very delicate.

Adam: Okay!

Donald: Pretend it's a baby.

Adam: Okay!!!

( clanking )

( clanking continues )

Adam: Pretend I caught it!

Donald: For the record, when I fill out the incident report, I'm putting "human error."

Leo: Okay, this just went from "comic book cool" to "real life terrifying." My new mission is to get the heck off this train!

Donald: Okay, we're gonna have to abort the mission! Never liked Welkerville, anyways. All right, I'm gonna drop down the rope ladder. Everybody up-- Leo first.

Leo: You don't have to tell me twice. Come on, guys, let's go home and have some cocoa! Guys? Cocoa!

Bree: We can't quit now.

Chase: If we do, it means we failed our first mission.

Adam: Yeah, we've been training our whole lives for this moment now. I'm not giving up.

Leo: Come on, this thing's about to crash. And we've done everything humanly possible.

Chase: But that's just it. Mr. Davenport made us superhuman, because when all else fails, we can't.

Bree: Yeah. We put ourselves in danger for the sake of humanity.

Leo: Well, if you guys aren't going, I'm not going either.

Bree: Leo, this is too dangerous for you.

Leo: Please. My middle name is "Danger."

Adam: I thought it was "Francis."

Leo: It's pronounced "Danger."

Donald: Leo, we are running out of time. By "we," I mean you. Get up the ladder, now!

Leo: I'm coming! I'm climbing up the ladder right now! Pull me up!

( hits button, door closes )

Chase: Leo, are you crazy? What are you doing?

Leo: We're all in this together. I may not be superhuman, but it doesn't mean I can't be a hero.

Donald: A first-aid kit? Leo, when I open this thing, you better be inside! What do you guys think you're doing?!

Chase: We're completing our mission.

Donald: What? Guys, no!

Chase: Okay, we have approximately three minutes to slow this thing down before it hits the turn and flies off the tracks.

Leo: Okay, let's think. Objects in motion remain in motion unless an external force blocks it.

Bree: So what could block our path?

Adam: Oh, I got it! We can put the nuclonium tanks in front of the train!

Bree: Then the train would blow up.

Adam: Thus stopping it.

Leo: If only Wile E. Coyote was here. He'd have a giant rubber band he could tie around two trees to stop this thing.

Chase: Wait a minute. Leo, that's it! The Reid-Bennett bridge is 19.8 miles ahead. Our repelling ropes are unbreakable. So if Bree ties them all together--

Bree: I could use my super-speed to run ahead and wrap around the bridge supports!

Chase: And then Adam can use his super-strength to hold the rope and stop the train.

Bree: Let's do this thing!

Leo: Did I mention Wile E. Coyote dies in every episode?

Adam: Get the bag.

Leo: Can we chalk that up to human error?

Bree: Okay, the rope's secure. Also, look what the train did to this penny!

All: Oh!

Bree: And this squirrel!

All: Aaah!

Adam: Hey, guys, what if this doesn't work? I mean, I know I'm strong, but this goes way beyond our training scenarios-- what if I can't do it?

Bree: Adam, strength doesn't just come from your muscles. It also comes from your mind.

Chase: Okay, maybe someone else should take the rope.

Bree: This is everything we've prepared for. You can do this! Just believe in yourself. I believe in you.

Chase: I believe in you, too.

Leo: I just spent four hours in a bag without a bathroom-- I think my support goes without saying.

Chase: Okay, here we go. Twenty seconds.

( cell phone ringtones )

Bree: Hello? What?! Oh, no!

Chase: What?!

Adam: What is it now?

Bree: Caitlin just broke up with Rodney!

( gasps )

Chase: Bree, this is serious!

Bree: I know! They've been dating for, like, three months!

Chase: Oh. Hey, can I talk to her for a sec?

Adam: That was a good one.

Chase: Okay, guys-- five seconds. Four, three, two, one!

( metallic screeching )

All: Whoa!!! Aaah!!!!!

Donald: Guys? What's happening?

( screaming continues )

( metallic screeching winds down )

. . .

( theme plays )

Tasha: Lens cap! I'm Tasha Davenport reporting live, and I am standing in front of the runaway train, which has miraculously stopped. In a totally unrelated story, the Reid-Bennett bridge has completely collapsed. Looks like your morning commute is gonna be a doozy!

. . .

( electrical crackling )

( all grunting )

Leo: We're alive! You guys did it!

Bree: We completed our first mission!

Adam: Ow! Rope burn! Anybody see the first-aid kit?

Chase: Well, we did it. That includes you too, Leo. If you didn't waste your life watching cartoons every day, we might all be dead right now.

Leo: So, what's our next mission? A runaway rocket or a sinking battleship?

Chase: How about trying to explain this entire thing to your mom?

Leo: That's a mission we'll never return from. Big D!

Donald: Ah. Thank goodness. The train is okay. And you guys, you guys are okay, too. Yeah, that's good. All right, first one back to the lab gets a food pellet smoothie!

Chase: Yes!

Leo: I'll catch up! I haven't whizzed since Reno. I'd like to avoid another disaster.

. . .

Tasha: We have got an exclusive interview inside the runaway train. Maybe we'll even meet the person who stopped it.

( whistling )

Tasha: Aaah! Leo! Uh--

Leo: Hey! Am I on TV?

Tasha: Ha-- ha--

Leo: Hi, mom!

Tasha: Wherever your mother is right now, I am sure she is very angry, yet... relieved that you are okay. I am here with--

Leo: Leo "Danger" Dooley!

Tasha: How does it feel to be a... hero?

Leo: Well, uh-- Tasha, was it?-- I wouldn't exactly explain myself as a hero... Actually, I would. I am a hero.

Tasha: And will you celebrate your accomplishment by spending two weeks in your room without television or video games?

Leo: I think it should be one week, or this exclusive interview goes straight to Linda Montieres!

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki