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This page is a transcript for Spider Island. Please add to the contents of this page, but only sentences and parts that pertain to the episode Spider Island.

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Douglas: (Comes out on phone) Yes Donny, I'll take out the garbage. No Donny, I won't experiment on the kids' bionics while they're asleep again.

(Leo looks at him)

Douglas: It was one time and you didn't even notice. Gotta go. Yes, I miss you too. (Hangs up phone) Well, Donny and the students made it to Gettysburg for their first official field trip.

Leo: Bionic kids and canon balls. What could possibly go wrong?

Douglas: Wait a minute. You're a student, why didn't you go?

Leo: Oh, Big D thinks I'm there. When he takes attendance, I've paid a kid 5 bucks to yell 'Here!' and another kid 10 bucks to yell 'Shut it, Leo'.

(Bree walks in)

Leo: Oh, hey Bree. I ditched the field trip, so I could hang out with you guys. What shall we do on our day off?

BreeOur day off? No, this is my day off and I already got it all planned out. I'm going to sit by the pool and read a book. I'd invite you to hang out with me, but I live and work with my family, so I'm sick of all of you.

(Chase walks in)

Leo: Hey Chase. Wanna hang out?

Chase: Sorry Leo, I've gotta make the most of my day off. I already organized the weapons' vault, alkalized the island's water system and taught a cute little group of dolphins to wave hello! Next up, some light reading. Oooh.

(Grabs Bree's book and speed reads it)

Chase: She ended up marrying the vampire? I did not see that coming!

(Adam walks in with a rock)

Leo: Oh, hey Adam!

Adam: No.

Leo: But I haven't even asked you anything yet!

Adam: Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Leo: Thank you. Would you like to han-

Adam: No.Check out this rock I found on shore! I had to dig it out from under a wooden box of old yellow coins and jewelry.

Chase: Adam, this isn't a rock. It's a fossil. Let me see that.

(Chase lays the fossil on the table and scans it)

Chase: This is a prehistoric sea spider! It went extinct millions of years ago.

Adam: Way to go, Chase. You made my rock boring.

(Adam walks away)

Leo: Cool, I love spiders! You know, back in high school, they used to call me 'Spider Legs!'. And now I'm realizing that's a bad thing.

Douglas: I thinks it's from the cretaceous period.

Chase: You're right, Douglas! It's from the valanginian subdivision. I would have loved to have seen this spider while it was alive!

Douglas: Well, maybe you can! You know, before I got into bionics, I dabbled in biology. I was trying to use fossils to bring extinct species back to life.

Bree: And that explains why there's still no Mrs. Douglas Davenport.

Chase: This specimen is almost perfectly preserved.

Douglas: I was never able to crack it on my own, but maybe with your help I can.

Leo: I'm pretty sure you're not looking at me, but I'm in.

Chase: Let's do this, Douglas.

Adam: Hey Leo, it was rude of me to just say no when you asked me to do something earlier.

Leo: Well, it's nice to see you've come to your senses.

Adam: Yeah, what I should've said was 'no thank you'.

(Intro plays)

Leo: Oh, you guys started without me. I must have missed the memo. Where're we at?

Douglas: First we have to extract a sample of its DNA.

Chase: Great we can map out its genetic structure and recreate it exactly.

Douglas: Or make it better. There's a reason this spider went extinct. This time we can give it a better shot at survival. After all these years of killing things, I can finally help something live.

Chase: What do you have in mind? Elongating its coli sera?

Leo: Elongating the who to the what now?

Douglas: Maybe we can increase the strenght of its carapace.

Leo: Good idea.

Chase: Nah, to do that we'd have to alter the dimensions of its tricanter.

Leo: Bad idea.

Douglas: Right, to properly distribute the weight...

Leo: Yes, the weight.

Chase: Of its altered exoskeleton.

Leo: The's exoskeleton of course.

Douglas: You're just repeating everything we say.

Leo: No, I'm testing you to see if you're both listening, and you are. Now, can we please get back to our tree panthers and our carrot pizzas.

Chase: Leo, Look, you're a great tech guy and all, but this is more of a biology thing.

Leo: Are you icing me out?

Chase: Finally, something you do understand.

Bree: Congratulations, Adam. You did the impossible. You made me wanna hang out with Chase.

Douglas: Behold! One of the greatest achievements in the history of science!

(Reveals the spider)

Adam: Aaah! Spider! I'll get it! 

(Chase tries to hold him back)

Chase: Douglas and I were able to extract the DNA from the fossil and reanimate the sea spider. Can you believe it?

Leo: Wait, so you brought a million year old creature back to life in only one day?

Douglas: When you take a lot of shortcuts and conduct dangerous experiments without any safety precaustions, you can do anything in a day.

Chase: Can you believe it?

Bree: That you spent your whole day off hanging with your weird uncle and playing with a dead spider? Yeah, I believe it.

Douglas: This is just the beginning. Think of all the other extinct animals we can bring back to life. Dinosauers, dodo birds...

Adam: Camels.

Chase: Adam, camels aren't extinct.

Adam: Oh yeah? Then why I've never seen one?

Leo: That thing is nasty! Can I touch it?

Douglas: No!

LeoOh, but you guys can touch it?

ChaseLook, we can't risk anything happening to it. The spider's very existence can change everything.

Douglas: And make me famous around the world.

Chase: And what about me?

Douglas: Oh, I'm sure you'll end up on somebody's blog. (places a lid on the case) That should keep our little friend safe.

Bree: Well, I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and relax.

Adam: I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and make noise.

Bree: Stop following me!

Adam: Stop walking in front of me!


Leo: That spider did not look like that this morning. What happened?

Chase: I don't know.

Bree: How'd it get so big? 

Chase: I don't know.

Leo: Why don't you know?

Chase: I don't know! (Douglas tries sneaking off but gets caught) Douglas!

Douglas: (Sighs) Okay, fine! Remeber how you wanted to make the spider more resilient so that it wouldn't go extinct again?

Chase: I remember you wanted to do that.

Douglas: And um... we talked about giving it growth hormornes?

Chase: And I said DO NOT do that!

Douglas: Which could be interpreted in many different ways.

(Everyone groans)

Douglas: Well, I didn't know it would get this big!

Chase: Oh yeah! Who know growth hormones would make something grow!

Douglas: You're just mad because I didn't save any for you.

Chase: Below the belt, Douglas! Below the belt.

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