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Spider Island/Transcript

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Transcriptactionhero
This page is a transcript for Spider Island. Please add to the contents of this page, but only sentences and parts that pertain to the episode Spider Island.

This page is still under construction.

Transcript

Douglas: (Comes out on phone) Yes Donny, I'll take out the garbage. No Donny, I won't experiment on the kids' bionics while they're asleep again.

(Leo looks at him)

Douglas: It was one time and you didn't even notice. Gotta go. Yes, I miss you too. (Hangs up phone) Well, Donny and the students made it to Gettysburg for their first official field trip.

Leo: Bionic kids and canon balls. What could possibly go wrong?

Douglas: Wait a minute. You're a student, why didn't you go?

Leo: Oh, Big D thinks I'm there. When he takes attendance, I've paid a kid 5 bucks to yell 'Here!' and another kid 10 bucks to yell 'Shut it, Leo'.

(Bree walks in)

Leo: Oh, hey Bree. I ditched the field trip, so I could hang out with you guys. What shall we do on our day off?

BreeOur day off? No, this is my day off and I already got it all planned out. I'm going to sit by the pool and read a book. I'd invite you to hang out with me, but I live and work with my family, so I'm sick of all of you.

(Chase walks in)

Leo: Hey Chase. Wanna hang out?

Chase: Sorry Leo, I've gotta make the most of my day off. I already organized the weapons' vault, alkalized the island's water system and taught a cute little group of dolphins to wave hello! Next up, some light reading. Oooh.

(Grabs Bree's book and speed reads it)

Chase: She ended up marrying the vampire? I did not see that coming!

(Adam walks in with a rock)

Leo: Oh, hey Adam!

Adam: No.

Leo: But I haven't even asked you anything yet!

Adam: Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Leo: Thank you. Would you like to han-

Adam: No.Check out this rock I found on shore! I had to dig it out from under a wooden box of old yellow coins and jewelry.

Chase: Adam, this isn't a rock. It's a fossil. Let me see that.

(Chase lays the fossil on the table and scans it)

Chase: This is a prehistoric sea spider! It went extinct millions of years ago.

Adam: Way to go, Chase. You made my rock boring.

(Adam walks away)

Leo: Cool, I love spiders! You know, back in high school, they used to call me 'Spider Legs!'. And now I'm realizing that's a bad thing.

Douglas: I thinks it's from the cretaceous period.

Chase: You're right, Douglas! It's from the valanginian subdivision. I would have loved to have seen this spider while it was alive!

Douglas: Well, maybe you can! You know, before I got into bionics, I dabbled in biology. I was trying to use fossils to bring extinct species back to life.

Bree: And that explains why there's still no Mrs. Douglas Davenport.

Chase: This specimen is almost perfectly preserved.

Douglas: I was never able to crack it on my own, but maybe with your help I can.

Leo: I'm pretty sure you're not looking at me, but I'm in.

Chase: Let's do this, Douglas.

Adam: Hey Leo, it was rude of me to just say no when you asked me to do something earlier.

Leo: Well, it's nice to see you've come to your senses.

Adam: Yeah, what I should've said was 'no thank you'.

(Intro plays)

Leo: Oh, you guys started without me. I must have missed the memo. Where're we at?

Douglas: First we have to extract a sample of its DNA.

Chase: Great we can map out its genetic structure and recreate it exactly.

Douglas: Or make it better. There's a reason this spider went extinct. This time we can give it a better shot at survival. After all these years of killing things, I can finally help something live.

Chase: What do you have in mind? Elongating its coli sera?

Leo: Elongating the who to the what now?

Douglas: Maybe we can increase the strenght of its carapace.

Leo: Good idea.

Chase: Nah, to do that we'd have to alter the dimensions of its tricanter.

Leo: Bad idea.

Douglas: Right, to properly distribute the weight...

Leo: Yes, the weight.

Chase: Of its altered exoskeleton.

Leo: The's exoskeleton of course.

Douglas: You're just repeating everything we say.

Leo: No, I'm testing you to see if you're both listening, and you are. Now, can we please get back to our tree panthers and our carrot pizzas.

Chase: Leo, Look, you're a great tech guy and all, but this is more of a biology thing.

Leo: Are you icing me out?

Chase: Finally, something you do understand.

Bree: Congratulations, Adam. You did the impossible. You made me wanna hang out with Chase.

Douglas: Behold! One of the greatest achievements in the history of science!

(Reveals the spider)

Adam: Aaah! Spider! I'll get it! 

(Chase tries to hold him back)

Chase: Douglas and I were able to extract the DNA from the fossil and reanimate the sea spider. Can you believe it?

Leo: Wait, so you brought a million year old creature back to life in only one day?

Douglas: When you take a lot of shortcuts and conduct dangerous experiments without any safety precaustions, you can do anything in a day.

Chase: Can you believe it?

Bree: That you spent your whole day off hanging with your weird uncle and playing with a dead spider? Yeah, I believe it.

Douglas: This is just the beginning. Think of all the other extinct animals we can bring back to life. Dinosauers, dodo birds...

Adam: Camels.

Chase: Adam, camels aren't extinct.

Adam: Oh yeah? Then why I've never seen one?

Leo: That thing is nasty! Can I touch it?

Douglas: No!

LeoOh, but you guys can touch it?

ChaseLook, we can't risk anything happening to it. The spider's very existence can change everything.

Douglas: And make me famous around the world.

Chase: And what about me?

Douglas: Oh, I'm sure you'll end up on somebody's blog. (places a lid on the case) That should keep our little friend safe.

Bree: Well, I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and relax.

Adam: I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and make noise.

Bree: Stop following me!

Adam: Stop walking in front of me!

...

Leo: That spider did not look like that this morning. What happened?

Chase: I don't know.

Bree: How'd it get so big? 

Chase: I don't know.

Leo: Why don't you know?

Chase: I don't know! (Douglas tries sneaking off but gets caught) Douglas!

Douglas: (Sighs) Okay, fine! Remeber how you wanted to make the spider more resilient so that it wouldn't go extinct again?

Chase: I remember you wanted to do that.

Douglas: And um... we talked about giving it growth hormornes?

Chase: And I said DO NOT do that!

Douglas: Which could be interpreted in many different ways.

(Everyone groans)

Douglas: Well, I didn't know it would get this big!

Chase: Oh yeah! Who know growth hormones would make something grow!

Douglas: You're just mad because I didn't save any for you.

Chase: Below the belt, Douglas! Below the belt.

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