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This is a complete transcript of the episode The Rats Strike Back.

Transcript

Donald: Another successful mission! Sure you guys blew a lot of stuff up, but hey, that's the city's problem now.

Bree: Uh, I am so exhausted. I can't wait to just stand up, and go to sleep.

Donald: Well, you guys get your rest. My big NASA presentation is this week, and we still have to complete training on my gravity propulsion belt.

Leo: I don't know what that is, but it sounds like it does a lot more than hold up my pants.

Donald: This is a huge contract. If NASA buys this, astronauts will be able to spacewalk anywhere in the galaxy. They'll probably name a moon after me, or a planet! Things are gonna land on me! Ha ha! I'll see you guys bright and early in the morning.

Leo: Wait, tomorrow? No, no. That's not gonna work. I planned an awesome cyberpong tournament. I made nicknames and everything. I'm "Kingpong".

Bree: And tomorrow's the Teen Fiancee marathon on TV. I didn't think it was possible, but I actually found a group of people who's lives are more pathetic than mine.

Adam: Yeah, and I was gonna have a spa day. According to one of Bree's girly magazine's... I have cankles.

Chase: And I was gonna get a headstart on my homework. I mean, play sports and talk to girls.

Donald: All right. Look, none of that is happening. This stuff is important.

Bree: What makes your stuff more important than ours?

Donald: Uh, 'cause my stuff can make a billion dollars. Yeah, so, when you're the boss, you can make the rules. But until then, ( deep voice ) I am the king of Davenportia, and you will all do my bidding. Ha ha ha ha-- Oh! Ow!

Leo: Man, this stinks.

Bree: Why do we always have to do what he wants us to do?

Adam: Weren't you listening? The man is king!

Leo: Hey! Maybe you guys should do what those hotel workers downtown did. You know, strike.

Adam: Okay.

Chase: Ow! What was that for?

Adam: Leo said strike.

Bree: Strike?

Chase: Ow!

Bree: What's a strike?

Chase: Stop it!

Leo: It's when employees refuse to work, until they get better working conditions, like more days off. Or in your case... a day off.

Chase: Hey, that's a great idea. I say we all strike! Oh, come on!

. . .

Donald: ♪ Fiddily-diddily-diddily-di Fiddily-diddily ( king voice ) Greetings people of Davenportia. It is I, king Donald, here to train thee. Ha ha!

All: Unfair. On strike. Unfair. On strike.

Donald: What's all this?

Chase: We... are on strike.

Donald: Why would you guys strike? You have the most awesome lives ever. Except maybe for mine.

Bree: Ha... ha... ha. We're serious. Adam even made us signs.

Adam: Probably should have used a pencil.

Donald: Okay, guys. Quit being ridiculous.

Leo: There's nothing ridiculous about it. They're on strike, and I'm their captain. We're sticking it to the man.

Adam: Yeah! And I don't know exactly what it is, but we're sticking it to ya! And it's gonna be really hard to get off.

Donald: Leo, why are you striking? You don't even have to train.

Leo: This isn't about training. It's about unity! And equality! And getting what we want! Ity...

Chase: We're striking for a day off. We need downtime just to have fun. As long as it doesn't effect our school work.

Leo: That's right. We are united in this cause. We will get what we deserve, because... superhumans are humans too! Come on, guys.

All: Superhumans are humans too! Superhumans are humans too! Superhumans are humans too! Superhumans are humans too!

Donald: I see. You guys want to play hardball.

Adam: Yes, we do. And after that, we're going to go right back to striking.

. . .

Donald: The kids say I don't give them enough time off. Hot stove! But I have been more than fair. I feed them. I clothe them. And I give them a very generous 10% discount at the Davenport Industries gift shop.

Tasha: Donald, if a calendar with 12 pictures of you enjoying the great outdoors doesn't make them happy... what will?

Donald: You know what my favorite one was? Don-uary.

Tasha: You have to remember those kids aren't you. Work doesn't always come first. They're teenagers.

Donald: Uh, excuse me. They were the ones who wanted to go to school and go on missions.

Tasha: They need kid time. You know how hard they train. Bend a little. It's not always about you.

Donald: Okay. This conversation just took a sharp left turn into crazy town.

. . .

Leo: Bam!

Chase: Pow!

Leo: Take that!

Chase: Never!

Leo: Eat it!

Chase: Not going to hit me!

Leo: Winning shot!

Chase: Rejected! Boom!

Bree: Can you guys please keep it down? Teen Fiancee is on. Jimmy-John is about to pop the question at the Taco Shack. He hid her ring in a churro! ( squeals )

Chase: What?

Adam: Who wants burritos?! Ah! Fresh out of the eyeball.

( bubbling )

Adam: Ahh! That's the stuff.

All: Hey!

Chase: What gives?

Adam: My cankles!

Donald: And darkness falls across the land of Davenportia. Ha ha ha ha!

Bree: Turn our stuff back on!

Donald: I think you mean, turn my stuff back on. Because you can't strike against me without striking against Davenport Industries, and that means you can't use Davenport Industries' equipment. Ha! Boom! Mmm! So, if you don't mind, I will take that, and that, and that, and this, and that.

Bree: No!

Donald: Ha ha! And... that!

Adam: Oh, hey! That's my face cream!

Donald: Adam, this is sour cream.

Adam: Yeah, and when it's done on my face, I use it on my burrito.

Donald: And that is also mine.

Adam: Hey!

Donald: Yep! Now, all you have to do is end the strike, and you can have the stuff back.

Adam: Hmm. Sounds like a win-win. I think we should go for it.

Leo: No! What about your day off? Come on, guys! Stay defiant! Stand up to the man!

Adam: But the man has my burrito!

Donald: And the man is having it for lunch. Now, if you don't mind... I'll be up in my well-lit mansion, playing with all my toys that still work. Ha ha ha ha!

. . .

Donald: Ha ha ha ha! Hee hee hee hee! Last night I turned the air-conditioning in the lab down to meat locker! They are gonna have to give up, or grow fur!

Tasha: You realize you're fighting with children?

Donald: Yes! And I'm winning! Ha ha ha!

Tasha: Oh! By the way, NASA called.

Donald: Oh, and they want their nerd back. It's funny every time.

Tasha: No, seriously. They left a message. They moved up your big presentation, and the rep is coming here tomorrow.

Donald: Tomorrow? But the- But the gravity belt isn't even ready yet. I have to calibrate the jets, and then- and then I have to test it, and- and what am I gonna do?

Tasha: I don't know. I stopped listening at "belt".

. . .

Chase: So... cold.

Bree: It's freezing down here.

Adam: I... can't... feel my toes.

Chase: Because those are mine, weirdo!

Donald: Guys! NASA called.

Bree: They want their nerd back?

Donald: Look, they moved the gravity belt presentation up to tomorrow! So, we have to put all this ridiculousness behind us, and get back to work! Strike's over!

Leo: Au contraire, Big D. You obviously don't know how a strike works. It's not over because you say it's over.

Donald: Guys, the biggest contract of my life is on the line here.

Chase: Oh! We'd love to help you, Mr. Davenport, but since you didn't care about our needs, why should we care about yours?

Donald: Uh, because I, and listen closely now... ( screaming ) SAID SO! I'm gonna go get the gravity belt, and when I come back, strike's over!

Adam: Did we win?

Bree: Great plan, Leo. We lost.

Leo: No, that's what he wants you to think. But now we have all the leverage.

Chase: You're right! He can't do that presentation without us.

Leo: Mm-hmm. And we can use that to get what you guys want, and more! Trust me, guys. I smell a victory.

Adam: Oh! No, those are my feet. I used, uh, rosewater in my cankle bath.

. . .

Donald: Oh, gravity belt. How I love you.

Leo: You two need a minute?

Donald: I wasn't talking to it.

Leo: I'm here to negotiate.

Donald: Leo, there is nothing to negotiate. The strike's over.

Leo: Ah, slow your roll, big money. You need them for your demonstration, so we have some new demands.

Donald: Get up.

Leo: Right, sorry. First, better snacks. Second, a 401K. We don't know what it is, but we know we want it. Third, matching hats.

Donald: Leo, those are some interesting demands.

Leo: Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some input.

Donald: You've been working so hard on what they want. Why don't we talk about what you want?

Leo: Well, this isn't about what I want. But I'm listening.

. . .

Bree: Leo should have been back by now. His lungs are way too tiny to be talking this long.

Chase: The negotiations must be grueling.

Adam: Uhh! I knew I shouldn't have demanded that bucket of sour cream!

Chase: Yes, I'm sure that's the sticking point.

Bree: Oh, finally. Is the man with the fancy belt ready to buckle?

Donald: Nope. Actually, I'm ready to begin training for the presentation

Chase: You can't do that without one of us.

Donald: Actually, I can, because you have been replaced.

Leo: Boom!

Donald: Boom.

Bree: Wait, you're replacing us? You were supposed to negotiate for us!

Leo: To be fair, your demands were... ridiculous.

Bree: They were your demands! When did they become ridiculous?

Leo: When I got what I wanted. Boom!

. . .

Bree: This is unbelievable! We had Davenport right where we wanted him, and Leo just handed him all the power.

Adam: I know. What was he thinking? Now we're never going to get matching hats!

Bree: If Leo succeeds as a test pilot, Davenport gets what he wants, and we lose. I need my TV! I am a highly irrational teenage girl, and it is the only thing keeping me from unleashing all of this... on you.

Chase: Guys, I think I figured out Mr. Davenport's game. He can't use Leo to present the gravity belt. He's bluffing!

Bree: You're right! Davenport needs us because we're trained, fit, and conditioned to wear it. And Leo's... Leo.

Chase: Mr. Davenport knew Leo was our leader. He thought if he cut off the head of the beast, the beast would die!

Adam: Wait, there's a beast, and we're gonna die?! I did not train for that!

Chase: I say we call Davenport's bluff, and at the same time, get revenge on Leo. We kill two birds with one stone!

Adam: Wait, are we killing birds or beasts? I am so confused!

. . .

Leo: Uhh! Do you have anything lighter than these?

Donald: Leo, those are one pound.

Tasha: Donald, what is he doing with my weights? He's gonna throw his back out.

Leo: Oh! Hey, mom. Check me out. I'm gonna be Big D's test pilot for the NASA presentation.

Tasha: What?!

Leo: That's right. Little man, top gun!

Tasha: Oh, no! He is not testing one of your half-baked disaster gadgets.

Donald: Hey! My gadgets have a... reasonable... safety record. Besides, he's not really testing anything. I just told him he is, so he would swing over to my side. Divide and conquer, baby!

Tasha: So, you're pitting the children against each other for your own benefit?

Donald: You so get me. And on switch. And presto. Ohh! Look at you! Oh! You are beautiful! You are floating perfection! You little sw-- Still not talking to it. Oh! Hey, guys. Did you come here to grovel? Proceed!

Bree: Uh, no. Actually, we came to check on your new test pilot. You really want to replace us with Leo, we should really make sure he's up to it.

Donald: Oh! Leo is up to it.

Leo: It's a hand cramp.

Adam: Look, if you're replacing us with Leo, shouldn't he be doing the same training that we did?

Donald: Oh, no. I mean, I don't think that's necessary.

Chase: Oh! But we do. I mean, unless, of course, you've been bluffing this entire time. And you really have no intention of letting Leo test the gravity belt.

Donald: Okay. Fine. Why don't we start with some pushups? Or a pushup.

Chase: No. Leo has to train exactly as we did. Throw him in the deep end.

Leo: Yeah, Big D. Throw me in the deep end. Just give me a second to get my floaties.

. . .

Leo: Uhh.

Donald: Good work! That was heavy.

Adam: That's not heavy.

Leo: Ah!

Adam: That's heavy.

Leo: I'm okay!

. . .

Donald: Okay, Leo. Ten more seconds. Way to focus under pressure.

Chase: That is not pressure.

Leo: Ahh! Stop!

Chase: That's pressure.

Leo: I'm okay!

. . .

Leo: This is awesome!

Bree: That's 'cause you're in beginner mode. Why don't we test your reaction time in, uh, combat mode.

Leo: Uh? Oh! Ohh! Okay. Okay! Yes! Wasting my life playing video games finally paid off. Here we go. I'm okay!

. . .

Donald: Ha ha ha! Congratulations, Leo. You have completed every training test necessary for the gravity belt presentation.

Chase: How many did he pass?

Donald: He completed them!

Bree: Just give it up! We all know you're not letting Leo go up in that thing.

Donald: Oh, yes, I will, missy! The NASA rep will be here any second now, and Leo is good to go. Unless, of course, you guys want to end this right now and help me with the presentation.

Chase: Not unless you're ready to give us more time off.

Donald: Not a chance!

Chase: All right. Fine. Then let's belt you up, Leo!

Leo: Don't mind if I do.

Donald: Uh- Uh, yeah, that's- that's, hey! That's fine. You know, I am 100% comfortable with this!

( doorbell )

Donald: Ahh! NASA rep! Okay. Take it off! Take it off! Help me with the presentation! I'll give you anything you want!

Adam: I want a purple pony named "Blue"! What? You said anything.

Bree: We want you to be fair. We work hard and deserve time off. Just think about that the next time before you automatically say no.

Chase: Yeah. You have to know when to be our boss, and when to be our dad. And our dad would know when we need a day off.

Donald: Mm-hmm. The "dad" card. Well played.

( doorbell )

Donald: Come on, guys! Please?

Chase: Do we get a day off, every week, to do whatever we want?

Adam: I'll let you ride blue.

( doorbell )

Donald: Fine! Whatever you guys want! Okay. I hear you, uh... more dad, less boss. Listening... yada-yada-yada. Are we good?

Chase: Deal!

Bree: Done!

Adam: Yes! Wait. What just happened?

Donald: Leo, give the belt to Adam.

( doorbell )

Tasha: Isn't anybody gonna get the door?

Donald: No! Ohh! Hey, hey, hey! Jerry, good to see you.

NASA Rep: Hi. Good to see you.

Donald: Looking good. Leo give the belt to Adam.

( beeping )

Leo: What was that?

Adam: The on switch.

Donald: What?!

Tasha: Donald! Do something!

Bree: Leo, grab on to something!

Leo: Ahh! Ah! No! No! Stop it! No! Why?

( screaming )

Leo: Why do we keep getting glass dining tables?

Donald: As you can see, it actually works pretty well. Uh, comes in black, gray, green, magenta, pink for the lady-naut. If you want a little rhinestone-- Excuse me... I got to...

Leo: I'm good! I'm good. Ahh! Whoa!

Chase: It works a lot better on a normal-sized person.

Tasha: Leo!

Leo: Here we go.

Tasha: He went through the roof!

Adam: Hey! See if my football's up there.

Bree: Here he comes!

Leo: How did I get outside?! There's the off switch.

( thump )

Leo: I'm okay!

Adam: Ohh! Where's my football?

Donald: And that concludes our presentation. Wait! Wouldn't you want to be able to do that on another planet? I mean, come on, you buy all kinds of junk that doesn't work!

. . .

Leo: Hey guys! I'm really sorry. I just... I wanted to be like you guys so much that I lost track of what's most important. Our friendship.

Bree: Oh, that's so sweet it makes me want to... blah! Yeah, I guess I can forgive you.

Adam: Yeah, me too.

Chase: It's all good. So, are you ever planning on taking that outfit off?

Leo: Well, no. It's the closest I'm ever gonna get to a mission suit.

Chase: You can't get it off, can you?

Leo: It's adhered to me in a way I'm no longer comfortable with.

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